Warehousing Girls, Part 1

By Joanna Griffith

“High school graduation is coming! The “real world” lies ahead! Hurray! But wait, what do we do next?”

This common question often perplexes and worries students, but it also produces much controversy, particularly when discussing young women. What should a young woman do after high school graduation? In the next several issues we will look at the various arguments made on this issue.

In this series I hope to consider a Christian woman's purpose, a father's role in a graduated daughter's life, the place of higher education, a daughter's preparation for courtship and marriage, and more.

This week, let's take a brief, introductory look at some of the arguments surrounding this issue. First of all, most Christian, homeschooling families agree that primarily, a woman's place is in the home. “Your wife will be life a fruitful vine within your house.” (Psalm 128:3a) “They [the older women] are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” (Titus 2: 3b – 5). I will be writing much of this with the presupposition that a woman's main focus should be on her family and home once she has children. I think the primary argument among Christians is over the role of woman who are unmarried, do not have children, or whose children are grown. In this series I will focus on the issue of single young women, though I may also touch on the issue of an older woman's role.

In today's culture, it is almost given that a young person (male or female) will attend college if they have the means to do so. Christian families want to their sons to obtain and good education and get a good job so that they can provide for their families. It seems obvious that a daughter will head off to college just like her brothers, but college isn't really training her for a career that will fill the next few decades of her life. Most likely she will spend much of the next 20 to 30 years raising children. However, some argue, she should still get that college education so that she will be a well-educated, intelligent, useful adult. After college she can pursue a career in the field she has chosen, obtaining experience in the work world and impacting culture. Her education will also help her to be a better mother and teacher to her own children. Plus, her career provides something for her to fall back on if her husband dies, leaves her, cannot support the family, or if for some other reason she must bring in income.

Seems to make sense, right? Some would disagree. Girls should be well-educated, they argue, but since a woman's calling is to be a wife and mother, she should focus her training on preparing for this. Plus, fathers are to protect their daughters until her wedding day when authority and protection of this woman is handed over to her husband. When a girl leaves home to attend college, she is not under her father's authority and protection as she would be at home, and turns her focus away from home. So many argue that rather than go to college, a girl should stay at home with her family, preparing for marriage and family by taking care of the home, helping to educate any younger siblings, assisting other families in her church and community, etc. She may take college courses on-line, pursue hobbies, or run a home business. But the main focus is preparing for marriage and nurturing a family.

This is just a brief introduction into some of the many arguments relating to this topic. As we begin to evaluate this issue, it is crucial that we all maintain a gracious and loving spirit. Many godly Christian families fall on different sides of this argument. It is my goal not to condemn, but to bring to our attention important issues, and to evaluate them in light of what God would call us to do. Young ladies, this is an important and foundational time in our lives. May we use it well to the glory of God! We would love to hear your thoughts on this issue, so please comment!